51 min A free kick from TAA homes on the magnificent head of Harry Maguire, but his header across goal doesn’t find a taker.

“I assume,” says Niall Mullen, “the reason that Declan Rice ended up playing for England is that the powers that be found out that he wasn’t really Irish. Speaking like an East End barrow boy and belting out God Save the King, he couldn’t be any less Irish (including being actually good at football).” Oof.

49 min Ireland are running hard, as they did at the start of the first half, but their attacks keep petering out because they haven’t got enough bodies forward. Their game plan has been neither one thing nor the other.

46 min More boos as Rice, on the right, finds Grealish in the centre circle. He passes the parcel to Gordon, who barges into the box and wins a corner. Nothing comes of it again – that’s one facet of England’s game that Carsley has yet to improve.

45 min England’s travelling fans decide to sing God Save The King. The home supporters respond with a boo.

“I’m sure I am not the only England fan,” says Rick Harris, “who was baffled at Southgate’s Euro 2024 refusal to give Anthony Gordon a chance on the left wing. With Foden always cutting inside, we had no left flank threat and were really easy to play against. Gordon has been England’s best player and just shows how blinkered Southgate was.” Halfway through the tournament, I was really hoping Southgate would leave out Foden, who was running down cul-de-sacs. But you can see why he didn’t.

He’s playing a bit better than he did last weekend.

HALF-TIME! Ireland 0-2 England

45 min Just a minute of added time as England play patience at the back.

44 min Ogbene charges down the left, too fast for Mainoo who’s covering for TAA, but the cross is overhit. Szmodics goes in hard on Gordon and gets a yellow card, the first of the game I think.

42 min Ogbene continues to be Ireland’s brightest spark, bustling in from the right wing. But England are finding it easy to clear the ball and a moment later Kane wins a corner for them.

“So,” says Liam Rooney, “England are beating Ireland with goals from two Irish lads playing for an Irish manager. It’s just a blatant copy of what we did in the 80s.” Well, the 80s are all the rage these days.

39 min Save! As Saka curls in a cross, Kelleher does well to beat Kane to the punch.

37 min England have another spell of possession and Rice, making a run from deep to latch onto Alexander-Arnold’s long ball, wins a corner. Nothing comes of it, but England stay in control. This is only the second time they’ve gone two up this year, the other being the 3-0 win over Bosnia and Herzegovina in June.

33 min Chance for Gordon! Another flowing move from England, orchestrated by Grealish, but again Gordon’s shot is at the keeper. If his shooting was as hot as his pressing, he’d be a superstar.

32 min Better from Ireland, who get forward through the speedy Ogbene, who puts a good cross in. If Ireland manage to score, the goal may well be made in Ipswich.

31 min Heimur? He has a problem. Ireland are parking the bus, playing 5-4-1 when they don’t have the ball, and England are still driving past them.

30 min Grealish was catching the eye with his energy and creativity even before the goal. But he could be Player of the Match here and it might not do him much good. As a No 10, he would still be stuck behind Jude Bellingham and Phil Foden in the queue. (Not to mention Cole Palmer.) And as a No 11, he would still be behind Gordon.

26 min It was a gorgeous team goal – all first-time passes, Rice to Mainoo to Rice to Saka to Rice to Grealish, who finished crisply from 15 yards, And did celebrate. The snakes are indeed back.

GOAL! Ireland 0-2 England (Grealish 26)

22 min Mainoo adds a lovely turn to his England highlights reel. Then Ireland manage to get forward but can’t do more than that as Kane goes deep to defend and picks up a foul.

20 min The game calms down a bit as England knock the ball around. Mainoo plays a lovely diagonal ball to Rice. Nothing comes of it, but Michael Carrick would have been proud of it.

“Perhaps,” says David Wall, “Carsley should have said that he still finds it odd whenever he hears the anthem in honour of ‘the King’ so would be staying silent out of respect for the late Queen. Not only would it have saved all the fuss (and boredom) of that ‘debate’ but it would have got certain newspapers insisting he gets the job full-time, regardless of results. Rookie error.”

17 min Lee Carsley said he’d picked “an attacking team, very attacking” and so far they have lived up to that. Early days, of course – early minutes, in fact.

15 min This game is end-to-end. England storm forward again with Rice leading the charge. Kane gets another shot in, saved this time by Kelleher.

13 min Ireland had just had a chance themselves, with the talented Szmodics drawing a save from Pickford. But then Alexander-Arnold went long and found Gordon, beautifully. He was one on one with the keeper and messed up the shot but the ball came loose. Kane had a go too, blocked, and then Rice was there, near the penalty spot, to thump the ball into the top of the net.

GOAL! Ireland 0-1 England (Rice 11)

9 min Alexander-Arnold and Grealish are beginning to run the show between them, one with vision, the other with quick flicks.

7 min Chance for England! Gordon puts a cross in, just too high, but it’s picked up on the right by Alexander-Arnold, whose cross is inch-perfect. Kane is there to get the header in but can’t keep it down. This, by the way, is his 99th game for England.

5 min Grealish isn’t on the left, he’s the No 10, with the speedier Gordon on the left wing… where Gordon is now, shoving Coleman over.

3 min Chance for Ireland! Molumby, ghosting in to meet a flick-on from the corner, has a free header at the far post, but he can only send it over the bar.

3 min Ireland come forward from the free kick and Ogbene, on the right wing, wins a corner with his energy.

2 min The early signs are that Ireland are playing five at the back and England are looking to play three, with Trent Alexander-Arnold slipping into midfield. He does that now and pings a long diagonal to Anthony Gordon, who is offside.

1 min Kobbie Mainoo gets the ball rolling and England go back to Jordan Pickford as Ireland press hard.

Now for the anthems. God Save the King rings out. The players sing it, Rice included; Carsley doesn’t – clearly a man of his word.

The Lansdowne Road crowd boo it heartily, then sing their own anthem, strikingly well. Heimur Hallgrímsson doesn’t join in either. It’s up to the individual.

“This Irish team need but one thing,” says Stephen G. “Shane Long to take over so we can go back to playing route one football, and qualifying for tournaments again. LONGBALL!!!”

The Irish president (and poet), Michael D Higgins, is in the house. Walking iwith two sticks, he is introduced to the England players. He gives Grealish and Rice a warmer welcome than those banner-wielders.

There’s a banner in the crowd aimed at Declan Rice and Jack Grealish, “THE SNAKES,” it says, “ARE BACK.” Oof.

A very attacking team, Carsley says

Some more balls. “In the spirit of Private Eye,” says Andy Flintoff, “maybe we should try to persuade Chris Coleman to take permanent charge, then the style of play would be ‘Colemanball’, and the world would fold in on itself.” Nice one.

And here comes another tart email. “With Jordan Pickford and Anthony Gordon in the XI and John Stones sitting next to Lee Carsley on the bench,” asks Gary Naylor, “do Everton have the most club connections to this Brave New England? If so, there’s a desperate 92 minutes on its way to you right now, culminating in two late goals in the 93rd and 95th to lose the game.” Haha.

“It will be followed by an interview with a bald manager saying that he’s disappointed with the result, nevertheless going on to explain how they were in the game for long periods, but have to cut out the individual errors. He’ll finish by saying that they’re missing a couple of key players but that the squad is good enough to cope with that. [Spoiler – it isn’t].”

Pre-match reading (2)

The next email contains a drop of vinegar. “In an effort to stop the birth of the appallingly asinine yet inevitable term Carsleyball,” says Paul Griffin, “I am frantically lobbying the FA for Kevin Ball to get the gig, just so pundits can’t refer to his style of play as Ballball.

“Or, perhaps an even better choice to stop these dumb, tired portmanteaux cliches gaining further currency would be to hire long-retired Bournemouth defender Chris Foote. The campaign – or perhaps campaignball – starts here. Or hereball.”

Ha. The players who know Carsley from the U21s call him Cars, so I was on the point of floating Carsball.

“Balance” is the header on the first email. “Looking at England’s three attacking midfielders,” says Mark Beadle, “wouldn’t Saka – Eze – Grealish/Gordon make more sense? Looks a bit unbalanced to me.” Yes, perhaps.

The predicted line-ups I saw this morning got the XI spot-on, so there must have been a clear steer. But they didn’t all agree on where Grealish and Gordon would go. My 4-2-3-1 is just an uneducated guess. It could be a 4-3-3 or 4-1-2-3 with Rice as the sole pivot, Mainoo and Grealish ahead of him, and Saka-Kane-Gordon as the front three. That way, Grealish and Gordon would both get to play on the left. But Eze is such a classy player that it would be surprise not to see him come off the bench.

Pre-match reading (1)

Those teams in full

‘Not a fresh start’

England team: Colwill, Grealish and Gordon start

Ireland team: Coleman and Doherty start

Preamble: under new management